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Thursday, 23 October 2014

So, Only One Person Holds A Friendship Together?

Over the years I have stopped being friends with a number of people. Male and female. That is a topic for another day. Today, I want to talk about the notion expressed in my title. I have heard people say that “it is one person that holds a friendship”, over and over. I find it really hard to accept this. And if it is true, why so? There are two persons involved in the friendship, why would it be one person holding it together? I've had this saying thrown at me a few times, suggesting that I am the one holding my friendship with the other person.
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 I am not very good with maintaining contact, keeping in touch and stuff, but I try. I don’t do a lot of calling, texting, chatting. I am more of a visiting person. So, when the person lives faraway and/or one of us is very busy, and visiting is almost impossible, the friendship may suffer. Personally, the absence of calls…. etc, does not affect my friendship with a person. I think I make up for them when I visit. However, when I am the only person visiting and calling, it makes me feel like I am putting in all the effort. Hearing “you are the one holding the friendship” does not make it better. It just makes me think “maybe the friendship is tired” and “oh well, maybe it’s time to move on. I hate to feel like this about a friend that I care about but when a relationship becomes lopsided….*shrug*.


Bottom line is if a relationship is important to a person, they do their best to keep it, nurture it. I’m not buying the “it is one person that holds a friendship” thing.  I would really hate to be the person putting in all the effort in a relationship. I may just get tired and let it go.


So, what say ye? Is it really one person that holds a friendship together?

Monday, 20 October 2014

Asoebi for Sale

I know, I know. It’s been ages, and I have missed you too. Like crazy! Pele, sorry, ema bi nu, ndo……..I am ashamed of myself. What kind of blogger am I sef? Anyways, I’ve missed blogging and I’m glad to be back. I pray I don’t go AWOL again J.
Hmmm, I have plenty to share with you guys o. Plenty things I want to talk about. So, I am planning a wedding. Yep, I am getting married. Wedding planning nor be joke o. That aside, the first thing I want to talk about is Asoebi. Some people would tell you your wedding planning is not complete without Asoebi. Well, I think Asoebi is nice. It adds colour to an occasion. However, I did not intend to have it for my wedding o, but friends and family managed to convince me otherwise. Now I have gone and bought fabric for a select few. The others would have to go with the colour code.

Why did I not consider it initially? It is stressful. You have to go shop for fabric, look for people to buy, ‘drag’ money …...I don’t have that kind of energy biko.  Also, money that could have been used to do something else is tied up. Sometimes, until after the wedding…….or forever. Some people may never pay up.

However, I just found out something else about Asoebi. It is actually a way to raise money. Imagine my shock when I found out how much gain someone made from selling Asoebi. Some people actually rip their friends and family off in the name of selling Asoebi. Not cool. I wonder how many ‘Asoebi wearers’ know this. I was talking with another person and he said most ‘Asoebi wearers’ are aware, and that they see it as their  contribution to the wedding. This is why some of them don’t bother to get a gift.
Personally, I feel some kind of way about someone inviting me to their wedding and ripping me off o. I know some people give out the Asoebi for free though. But most times you can’t use them after one wash. Same goes for some that did not even come free of charge.


What say you then? Did you know about gaining from Aso
me and my friend Hope in asoebi 
ebi? Is it okay? Please share your thoughts. I would love to hear them. Lerra.

Wednesday, 27 August 2014

It's Just Life

I think people should get off their high moral grounds. I think I should get off mine. It's easy to be angry at someone for doing something you do without thinking twice. The more I see of humans, the more hypocritical I find us to be. It's really easy to point the accusing finger at others. And you know what they say, four fingers point back at you.

I have learned not to expect so much from people. I've had all kinds of people let me down. Parents, friends, siblings etc. So I learned that lesson. I also do not take myself too seriously. So I rarely get mad at or hurt by people. They are human beings afterall. Sometimes I think of human beings as the basest of all animals. Animals do some terrible things like...eat their young, but it's because they don't know better. Humans on the other hand? Even the Bible said the heart of man is desperately wicked.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I do not take life and all it's trappings seriously. It's what life itself taught me. For instance, this is the reason I can wear my hair natural amid scorn from ignorant folks. It's the reason I can leave my house to work without any makeup. It's the reason I don't "break my head" when friends do not act like friends. It's the reason I don't cry when my father or mother throws hurtful words at me. It's the reason I can say hi to someone who called me names the previous week. It's the reason I can't be sad that I do not have my dream job yet. It's the reason I could never be jealous of another person! The list goes on....and finally, it's the reason I cannot contemplate suicide despite life's challenges.

 I leave you with the words of a wise young woman(yours truly) :-) "It's just life folks, it's not that serious". Let me add that eternity;where we spend it, is much more serious. Selah.

Thursday, 26 June 2014

Elusive Happiness

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When you start to look to things or people for your happiness, happiness will remain elusive. Having said that, I think I've been unhappy lately. I'm tired of where I am. Geographically and lifecally
( haha, I just coined a word). It's not the first time I would have this feeling. The feeling that I would go crazy if I did not change environment ASAP. Even church activities no longer provide escape. I think I might have strayed a little bit. I need to reconnect to my Source. I know this because I am starting to turn to things and people for happiness. The consequent feeling is at best, fleeting. Haha, speaking of fleeting .....that gist is one for another day. Hint - it involves an Ex.

This too shall pass. I have been through tougher times. Have I really? Does it not get tougher as I get older? But I know the storm shall pass and I shall remain standing . I picture myself standing on the sea shore, drenched to my skin, in my grecian gown with sea weed caught in my hair and dress, bare-footed. The wind is flapping behind me as the storm fades. But, I am standing. My face is bare, save the water droplets mixed with a fierce resolve. And then I smile. A weak smile that I am certain will get stronger....and brighter.

This too shall pass.


Dear All, It is Not That Serious!

So I have been meaning to do this post. I have only just gotten round to doing it.

You know how people equate fulfillment and great life achievement with getting married? When someone says single-hood is not good? That it is not good to be single, no matter the age. Everybody should go and marry, whether you are ready o, can afford it o, go and marry! Don't ever be single o. Whether you are in school o or pursuing your career. In fact, parents should marry off their kids in infancy so that they won't be caught single when they become adults, because single-hood is bad. When they will not stop talking about how you should go and marry. When they even go as childish /low as abusing you with your marital status. Can this craze stop already?

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I love my Pastor, I really do but can the special prayers for 'due' singles stop too? Dear Pastor, it is not that serious. I promise. I can't help but feel that all the the talk and prayers and testimonies(good intentions notwithstanding) kinda support the notion in the first paragraph. I know they are meant to inspire or build up faith but do they really do that? Do they not unwittingly make the 'due' singles feel sorry for themselves. Do they not make them feel less than their married counterparts? Note that I have not singled out any sex here. What is so bad about being single? Whether by choice or not, ehn?

My pastor usually ends the service with prophecies and I remember when I would consciously or unconsciously answer amen to 'you shall get a proposal this week!'. Come and see now, almost every week I was getting proposals. But you see, getting proposal nor be the wahala, na the people wey dey give the proposals. While they were great in their own right, they were not great for me. Some of you will come and say I too make yanga. Thank you :p. Plus, how many men I wan marry na? My dears, I had to advice myself and stop answering amen o. When I know I'm not in a relationship. Someone will just appear from the blues and say 'marry me'. I will now gree, jus like dat. The men that tried that with me will tell you it didn't go well.
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Let me not even get started on the ones who will be asking ' when is your wedding?'. As if I told them I was getting married, abi they see engagement ring for my hand. Bunch of busybodies is what they are *gives them side-eye*. Some people are just so tactless. Ahn ahn....telling me you want to see little Scarlets. Are you my grandmother? Marriage is good...yes, it is. Single-hood is good too. Even better :-D, ask Apostle Paul. Children are gifts from God. Does not mean that getting married and having kids are all there is to life. Don't even get me started on that topic.

Let me end the rant here today. I do not promise that I will not continue another day though ;).

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Solitude

Solitude
This is the place I live  
It's peaceful here
The only worries are those I let in
No phony friends can find me here
Life's disappointments can't reach me here  
Here, I have witty conversations with my mind
My mind........she's funny
She's naughty too
And when she's not in the mood to chat
I seek other companions
My companions........they are not always human
You see, company is the place I visit
Solitude is where I live
And I love it here                                               

Friday, 13 June 2014

Are You Ready?

Are you ready?
Everyone should answer that question every moment of their lives. Sure, you have faith that nothing bad would happen to you. It's not your time yet. When someone dies untimely, in their prime, is it their time? Death is only for your enemies, I know. But....if it happened to you today, right now, are you ready? And me, am I ready to meet my creator? My saviour? Would he be proud of me? Have I laid up treasures in heaven? Because let's face it, it does not matter how much you have achieved on earth. Once your breath ceases they stop to count.

Kefee had everything going for her after a overcoming a rough patch in her life. She had a husband who loved her. She was pregnant. She was doing well with her music and venturing into new things. None of those could save her. None of them counts where she's gone. I can only hope that she's gone to be with the Lord. That's all that matters.

Are you ready?