Over the years I have stopped being friends with a number of people. Male and female. That is a topic for another day. Today, I want to talk about the notion expressed in my title. I have heard people say that “it is one person that holds a friendship”, over and over. I find it really hard to accept this. And if it is true, why so? There are two persons involved in the friendship, why would it be one person holding it together? I've had this saying thrown at me a few times, suggesting that I am the one holding my friendship with the other person.
I am not very good with maintaining contact, keeping in touch and stuff, but I try. I don’t do a lot of calling, texting, chatting. I am more of a visiting person. So, when the person lives faraway and/or one of us is very busy, and visiting is almost impossible, the friendship may suffer. Personally, the absence of calls…. etc, does not affect my friendship with a person. I think I make up for them when I visit. However, when I am the only person visiting and calling, it makes me feel like I am putting in all the effort. Hearing “you are the one holding the friendship” does not make it better. It just makes me think “maybe the friendship is tired” and “oh well, maybe it’s time to move on. I hate to feel like this about a friend that I care about but when a relationship becomes lopsided….*shrug*.
Bottom line is if a relationship is important to a person, they do their best to keep it, nurture it. I’m not buying the “it is one person that holds a friendship” thing. I would really hate to be the person putting in all the effort in a relationship. I may just get tired and let it go.
So, what say ye? Is it really one person that holds a friendship together?