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Tuesday, 25 August 2015

Crushed Crushes

I've had a few crushes in my short life. The earliest I can remember being when I was in 13. He was twelve and they lived nearby . I never voiced my feelings even though we were friends. Then one day, dude showed up at my doorstep and told me he didn't want anything to do with me. That was probably my first heartbreak :). Till this day, I do not know what happened. Oh well. I sha did not waste time on him. I moved on to another one. My bestie's brother. Who later became the first boy to write me a love letter. Well, I was not ready to be anybody's girlfriend at 14. That crush died too.

At 16, again came another. He lived close to my mom's shop. I thought he was arrogant but it didn't change how I felt. His twin was nicer. Sigh. I guess I chose the wrong twin to crush on. Fast forward to my first year in the university, there was this guy I thought was always staring at me in fellowship meetings. Haha. Dude probably thought the same of me. Then one day, he said hi and I was over the moon. Alas, this crush also went the way of all crushes before and after him.

In my year 3, I crushed madly on this family friend. I did not mind that he did not use a deodorant and smelt one kind sometimes. One time, this text message was making rounds. It  read something like this ; "I'm getting married and you are invited. No need to bring a gift, just bring me a husband". I send it to him and he replied saying there were going to be two husbands at the wedding then. I was so happy that I did mental back flips. Haha.

My last crush was this tall and lanky drink of water. But I knew it couldn't be. We were from different worlds. I had to stamp out the fire fast before it would burn me :).

Since I've been married I haven't crushed on anyone. I promise :). Maybe, I've matured? By the way, is it still legal to crush? Is there such a thing as innocent crush?  Anyways, I only see one man now. So there's no time, eyes or reason to crush. That spot is filled up. My eyes are occupied :).

So long guys. Till I come ya way again.

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Mimiko Definitely Ain't Mimicking Nobody

I live in Akure. I've lived here since I relocated last December. I served here too. So being a resident I am definitely concerned about the policies of the Ondo state government, headed by our dear Governor, Olusegun Mimiko. I can say that when I served here a few years ago, a lot of Ondo state residents thought highly of him. You'll hear things like, "Mimiko n si se"(Mimiko is working). Well, I haven't been hearing a lot of that. In fact, until recently I was hearing the opposite.

He has started working again. It should be a good thing. Except, it is not the type of work people expected or welcome. He's been placing all kinds of levies on residents, commercial motorcyclists. The okada drivers tried to protest but went about it the wrong way. They allegedly destroyed properties and it earned them a ban which has further worsened the hardship on commuters. Especially, those living in the outskirts. We hope the ban is called off really soon and the issues resolved.

Another development of the recent administration is what is known as Kaadi Igbe Ayo aka Residence Card. The government has mandated everyone living in Ondo state and interested in using government-owned institutions and facilities to get this card. The governor claims the reason for this is that nonresidents travel down to use them *side eye. Yimu, when we know how much he needs the extra revenue.

One of the consequences of not getting the card is that a woman in labour with not be attended to if she shows up at a government-owned hospital to be delivered of her baby, even if she had earlier registered there for Ante-natal. I saw this firsthand.

Fortunately, getting the card does not cost more than Two thousand naira. Still. This is definitely unprecedented. At least in Nigeria. Correct me if I'm wrong. What government levies residents just to use its facilities, and we're not talking taxes and normal bills o. Oh well, and nobody is kicking up dust. Even though people don't like it, they are getting their cards. Myself included.

Having said the above, It wouldn't be fair of me if I failed to mention one of the good developments of Mimiko- The Mother and Child Hospital. Pregnant women and children have access to great medical care in Ondo state and almost free! All you have to do is pay a small fee for registration and now, get your Kaadi Igbe Ayo. Every family knows how well Mimiko has done in this area. The mortality rates in delivery of both mother and child have greatly reduced. Babies born preterm in these hospitals also have a higher rate of survival. My husband and I can't stop saying " thank God for Mimiko" on behalf of our family friends who had a preterm baby at 28 weeks. The baby is doing well and at no little or no cost to the parents. So you see, this is not a Mimiko-bashing article after all :).

Till I come ya way again, stay blessed and with purpose.

Friday, 24 July 2015

To Come Out or Not?

I want come out. Should I come out? Maybe I should just wait till someone outs me? But I want share. Tell people what it's like living like this. The beauty of it.

I have stayed in this closet long enough. There is really no reason why I should remain here. I have the support of loved ones. I want to share my experience with the world.

Should I stay or should I come out? To come out or not to come out? Suggestions? Encouragement? Anybody?

Tuesday, 14 July 2015

No Title

Na wa! I'd almost finished typing this long post on friendship when it got wiped clean. Hmmm, I nor fit cry. Anyways, I was missing you guys and I just wanted to say "how are y'all doing?!" Hehe, I've been good. God has been great. This week has been a crazy one but #Godwin. Haha, I never thought I'd use that hash tag. It just seems apt. So, my Dad and brother fell ill the same period. My Dad went to the hospital first, then my brother had to be rushed too. The thing ehn? I just thank God that they are both doing better. No need for details. You guys should help me thank God because as the God that He is, He did not allow the enemy win.

My dears, I don't have a lot to say. Just this. When you are in a tight corner, just hold on to God. Hold Him to His Word. Present your strong reasons, hold on tightly to your shield of faith and leave the rest for Him.

God bless y'all and keep you till next time. Shalom.

Thursday, 25 June 2015

It's Not a Contest

I discovered a long time ago one thing life has in common with salvation; it is a personal race. Life is not a competition. It's funny how people behave like it is. It's not. I'm talking to people on both sides of the divide. The ones who feel they have achieved more than their peers and carry their shoulders like they are wearing shoulder pads. Then the ones who feel their peers have left them behind and slump their shoulders.

Understand that nobody is in a competition with you. The only person you should strive to beat is yourself. Striving to become a better you is what you should be doing not looking down on yourself or others because you think you are better than others, or that others are better than you.

Life is in stages. Believe it. You may not be where you want to be but one day and as my Pastor would say, "like play, like play", you'd be there. So, people you went to school with have amazing jobs and you are still  struggling to make ends meet. Don't fret, you'd get there. Your mates are married and you are not. My dear, everybody get him own time. Your time go come. Please *insert your case here. Don't worry, your time is coming and when it happens, it would make up for the delay. You best believe that!

Ehen, the one that is carrying shoulder because you think you have more or have achieved more than others. Kontinu, God is watching you.

Let me leave you with these scriptures.

Ecclesiastes 3:11a-   He hath made every thing beautiful in his time. KJV

Ecclesiastes 9:4-  For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope: for a living dog is better than a dead lion. KJV

Galatians 6:4-  Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to
compare yourself to anyone else. NLT

Shalom.

Wednesday, 17 June 2015

You CAN Say No!

No is a two-letter word. It's simple enough. I don't know why we find it so difficult to say, sometimes. It's like we don't understand that we can say no, and heaven won't fall. Nobody will kill us. Reminds of that MTN commercial. The one where the girl asked the guy, "what part of no do you not understand? The N or the O? Haha, now that's a girl who can say no.

So, it's like this. Someone asks you for a favour and you say 'okay', when you know that you won't or you can't, for whatever reason. Why?

Someone tells you about his wedding and you ask for asoebi. In fact, you go a step further and ask that the person takes it to your Tailor for you since, you are in a different state. Wedding pass, you nor come. You nor call to explain. Asoebi, you nor pay for. Ahn ahn! Funny thing is, you asked for asoebi o, and said you will come. Why bother? Why not just say, 'ma bi nu, I can't come'. Heaven will not fall, nobody will kill you.

That brings me to this wedding RSVP thing. Why is it that in Nigeria people don't practice it. Do we even know what it is? When I was younger, we used to call it ,'rice and beans very plenty'. Don't ask me which of the words the S represents :-). Courtesy demands that if you are invited for a wedding or any other occasion, you tell them whether you are coming or not. To say the least, it is rude to just be silent, not turn up or pretend you did not get an invitation. Just rude!

Ehen, back to the 'no' issue. Please let's learn how to say no. Abi wetin una want me to talk? Let's learn it now, and practice it, since it seems like a hard thing. It would go a long way in saving us and others a lot of wahala.

Have a great weekend dears. Shalom.

Monday, 15 June 2015

It's Not Only Respect that's Reciprocal

I'm sure you've heard the saying, 'respect is reciprocal'. You hadn't? Well, you just did. However, I'm not here to talk about respect.

So, I've discovered it isn't only respect that's reciprocal. Love is. As you may well know unrequited love is hopeless. The lyrics of a particular song come to mind.
      Oh how I love Jesus(3ce)
       Because He first loved me

You see, as powerful and selfless God's love for us is, it isn't totally unrequited. I speak for myself. I definitely love Him back.

Let's also look at trust. Trust. Should it and can it be one-sided? My answer is no. If you don't trust me, how do I trust you? 'Ko poss na'.

And this brings me to what I really want to talk about today. Openness, alias sharing. My people, this is also reciprocal. It's like trust. If for whatever reason you do not think you can be open or share with me, now you should not be surprised that I reciprocate your lack of sharing, should you?

See, I understand that we are all different and handle issues differently but hey, it's like I said; openness is reciprocal. We should understand what we do when we play the privacy cum secrecy card. Asides locking out people who genuinely care about you, you hurt the friendship/relationship. What's a relationship without openness?

There have been times when I've wanted to share my challenges with someone close either because I wanted to get some nuggets of wisdom or because I just needed to unburden my heart. You know, just talk with someone that cared. But I couldn't. They had locked me out. They did not want to share their issues with me and so, I couldn't share mine with them. That's not a good place to be in a relationship.

So, the next time you want to go all private with someone close, remember that you may be stopping them from unburdening their heart. Also, remember that you are not the only one with challenges. Think outside the box of self. Think about what the absence of openness and sharing in the relationship does to the other person.

Shalom.